Letting things go

like the autumn leaves,
quitely wither off,
there are things waiting
on the old branches of this ageing tree,
who have waited untill this moment,
so that their weight can be eased,
after all, this rotten pain can be ceased.

things seemed to come,
just at the right time,
when there was an unspoken demand,
when there was an instinctive expectation,
they came and slipped in nicely,
and compared to then,
now they make me feel,
a childish greed triggered dilemma,
in doing the act,
in weakening the grip,
and letting them go.

this embracing sorrow,
in seeing the river,
take my ducks away,
in hearing the cranky cage open,
and there go my pigeons,
with no promises, no pacts,
of ever coming back,
slowly damns the heart,
politely with mercy.

then i would wait untill they are out of sight,
lost beyond the horizon,
hold my breath and,
turn around to never ever look back,
where they disappeared.
to never put my steps in the same direction,
and wholely solely,
disregarding wants,
closing the chapters,
bid them farewell.

Locked in the eye lids

A slot machine at the casino,
someone pulled the handle years ago,
the wheel has been spining since then,
before the dreamy, waitful and greedily anticipating eyes.

The first stumble caused by this overwhelming lust of alcohol.
double displaying everything,
warm and good.
not right or wrong.
just like handle pulled inside the brain,
thousand flashes spun before eyes.

the excited and happy painted faces of the circus crew,
when i got a front row seat,
inbetween claps, i saw them feeling so joyful,
which was the reason i clapped,
for them it was what i did,
everything they put up the show for,
my claps, their earning,
no it was not ticket's money,
unlike at the casino.

the group of us cousins,
had me the youngest,
silliest, dumbest, funniest,
and the very brave to take on every joke cracked,
without caring much,
cause couldnt have retorted,
the tounge was still very little,
but no it wasnt their conventional fun,
couldnt have realised 11 years back,
but i get it now,
their grin hid love for me,
the same way the casino staff doesnot.

All these things bubbled up,
a the wet surface of the eyeball,
and made me shed tears.
sadness, the damn feeling,
that arised when i recalled such a happiness,
just like spinning slots of the machine,
evrything was running in a sequence,
i felt drunk alcohol, but,
i suspect i just got a hangover,
after drinking too much hate tonight locked in the eyelids.

Welcoming Sadness

As happier as it gets,
the quicker it melts,
this ice cream of life.
the longer the smiles last,
the quicker they are passed,
in this mortal dream of life.

not always will the things be right,
some times the roads will be open wide,
other some they will be very tight.
wide roads are dept traps,
where as narrow ones are credits,
but while walking down,
such thoughts remain out of sight.
I am not a sadist,
niether I sing pessimism,
I just try to withdraw curtains from this dawning madness,
we thank god for happiness,
we should also welcome sadness.

from the doorway of our open mind,
we shall accept life as it is,
cause its destined, it shall find,
the sighing person,
didnt only know before,
that sadness is not darkness,
that the so wide smile actually makes you blind.

That misery has its own way,
in making of a forever mark,
that Mr Tyndall could only see the lightray,
when the room was dark.

that how do you know what is blue,
if there was only the same colour,
because we know how it felt to us,
while going through,
before understanding the pain of others.
The same way is happiness learnt,
the light is only visible,
when something is burnt,
sadness occurs to us naturally,
when we are longing for happiness in return. happiness in return.

Rememberence

swirling snow flakes had caught my attention,
the white painted and still scene,
had just these snowflakes,
wandering everywhere, carefree.

Then when one of them landed on a brown cap,
I recognised who was it,
she was going somwhere,
the same way she was making her ways,
different from mine,
the same way she was making her ways,
outta my life.

The nest on a tree,
whom I had not forgotten,
since the hatched creatures,
had seen the light for the first,
was now abondaned.
Those birds may never have known me,
but their departure was saddening.
Here are people who share nests with each other,
how tough it is for them to part,
and these birds were still strangers.
So was she making preparations,
a nest in my heart was soon going to be empty.

Then she had seen me seeing her,
she looked, with a peculiar discomfort,
waved a hand slowly lazily,
winked an eye and turned inside,
heartbeat fluttered once in the whole motion,
and then dropped low,
as if, may be,
it was the last greet,
last smile,
last wave,
and a bond which wont last,
any more.

its not her absence,
its memories that would bite,
they would knock at the door,
in peace at night.
One may learn how to do them away,
one may stop caring,
but one dies a little inside,
while daring.

Then these chilling winds would come,
take me in their cold embrace,
then my heart will ask my mind,
where is the sun?